Dawn: There… I knew you were under that dirt somewhere. Something like, um, six feet under that dirt, but anyway… *chuckle*
Buffy: You like to live dangerously, don’t you?
Dawn: Oh, come on, cheer up! You’re alive. And you smell all fresh like a flower. Which isn’t surprising, since…
Buffy: Don’t say it!
Dawn: … you’ve been pushing up daisies.
Buffy: *WHACK*

Spike: You… I could kill you! Tear off your head and drink from your brainstem!
Dawn: Spike…
Spike: And I bet it’d taste like whine, too.
Dawn: I suppose I had that coming.
Buffy: Did someone mention brains? I’m hungry.

Buffy: How long was I… gone?
Spike: Long enough for the following to happen: Osama Bin Laden’s attacked New York, we think Bin Laden’s a vampire, our show’s gone from WB to UPN, which means… no more crossovers with Angel.
Buffy: Awwww, why did you have to bring me back?
Joss: Sorry, girl. Contract.
Buffy: *sigh* Well, anyway, at least it can’t get worse than this.
Joss: Here, have a look at the scripts for this season!
Buffy: Uh-oh. Suddenly I miss Glory…

Willow: Don’t you think she’d be… happier? I mean, don’t you think she would be so happy that we brought her back?
Tara: You thought she’d say thanks…
Willow: Would I be a terrible person if I said yes?
Tara: No… It just means you like the Grateful Dead… *heehee*
Buffy: I heard that!

Willow: Tomogenesis!
Anya: She’s possessed.
Dawn: You’re right.
Willow: I’m not possessed! We created a demon when we brought Buffy back!
Xander (possessed): "Sex bomb, sex bomb, you’re my sex bomb!"
Willow: Wait, I got it wrong… It’s not Tomogenesis, it’s TomJonesis.
Anya: The Powers That Be sent us Tom Jones along with Buffy?
Dawn: We’re doomed.
Willow: Hey, even the Powers That Be have a sense of humor.

Willow: Wait! It’s temporary…
Anya: What do you mean?
Willow: TomJonesis can’t survive on this plane unless it gets Buffy’s panties.
Anya: It figures.
Xander (still possessed): "Thanks for the tip, pussycat!"
Willow: Oh no!

TomJonesis: "You don’t have to be dead, to be my girl…"
Buffy: Hmmm, why do I suddenly feel the urge to take off my underwear?
Steve DeKnight: Because I wrote this episode. So indulge in the smut, girl.
Xander: Hang on, Buffy, we’re coming!

TomJonesis: "Women and girls, rule my w…" *SLAY*
Buffy: Whew… that was close. How did Willow manage to make him solid?
Anya: Viagra. Cause, y’know, 60 years old…
Dawn: Eeeew. That’s the kinda thing I’m not supposed to see, right?
Buffy: Dawn, that’s something no woman should have to see.

Buffy: Everything I touch, everything I feel… this is Hell.
Spike: It can’t be that bad!
Dawn: Great. So you don’t wanna be here. It’s because of me, right? All right, here’s me basking in the love. *sigh* Nobody understands me!!!
Buffy: I rest my case.