Season 6 begins in a cemetery in Sunnydale, on the sounds of Michael Jackson’s "Bad"…

Fat Vampire (singing, with choreography) : You know I’m fat, I’m fat…
Anya and Tara (chorus): He’s really, really fat.
Fat Vampire: And you can tell the whole world who’s… *poof*
Giles (panting): Gee, thanks Spike, although that was a bit on the tardy side…
Spike: Wha…? I didn’t do it!
Weird Al Yankovic: It was me. I dusted the bugger.

Willow: I’m still working on BuffyBot’s programming, trying to make her more normal. But I’ve been having some trouble with some routines...
Tara: Well, you should come to bed, it’s late.
Willow: *Dzzt* There, that should do it. How do you feel, BuffyBot?
BuffyBot: No… habla… inglese… soy… mexicana…
Dawn: Are you sending her to Parent Day or to Club Med?
Willow: Quiet, you.

Xander: Scenario: We raise Buffy from the grave. She tries to eat our brains.
Willow: Well, then, count yourself out of danger…
Xander: I resent that.

BuffyBot: Vampires beware.
Vampire: Slayer!
BuffyBot: Yes, the slayers orange are wet.
Vampire: Um… yeah. Aren’t you going to try and stake me or something?
BuffyBot: Yes! Stake is the natural motion of the fuzzy table.
Vampire: I gotta go warn Razor and his gang. The Slayer’s on drugs! The town’s wide open…
BuffyBot: Open wide!
Vampire: Yeah, yeah, I bet you say that to all the guys.

BuffyBot: Sexy Spike! Would you like me to A) stroke your abs, B) stroke your abs, or C) stroke your abs?
Spike: Bloody hell, Willow! I don’t want that bot thinking of me like a piece of meat anymore!!! *SLAM*
Willow: Piece of meat, eh? … I’ll give him a piece of meat!

Dawn: You know, BuffyBot, I really wish Buffy was here… She’d know how to comfort me. But since she’s not, I guess I’ll have to settle for the next best thing. *snuggle* I hope you don’t mind?
BuffyBot: Welcome to Burger Kink. May I please take your order? Spikemeat?
Dawn: WILLOW!!!

Anya: Don’t you think you’re trying to teach her too much, Giles? You know, she’s not the descendant of a long line of mystical warriors. She’s the descendant of a toaster oven.
Xander: Yeah, and I’d like to see where the slices of bread go! *wink wink*
Anya: Try it and your buns are toasted, buster.

Vampire: I tell ya, the Slayer is on drugs! She’s on the powder, I tell ya!
Razor: *poof* So are you.

Willow: Come forward, Blessed One, know your calling. Come forward…
Fawn: Yeah, yeah, whatever! I’m here…
Willow: Don’t interrupt! I’m trying to do a spell! Um, where was I? Oh yeah, come forward, Blessed One…
Fawn: Say, I hope my head’s not gonna end up as a wall ornament, because that is like, so passé?
Willow: *stab* Child of Elomina, accept our humble gratitude for shutting up. In death, you can’t annoy me anymore. May you find wings to whatever place I’m not.

Tara: Did you find the Blessed One?
Willow: Yup. And it quickly became the Bled One.

Willow: COUGH! HACK! GAG!
Xander: Oh my God, it’s a snake!!! I’ve got a stake, should I use it?
Anya: Say, I’m kinda hungry…
Willow: GAG! HACK!
Xander: Willow’s puking a snake, and all you can think about is food?
Anya: Well, you were the one who brought up the snake steak!
Willow: GHAG!!! Ke-HACK!!! HEAVE!!!
Xander: What’s she saying?
Tara: She says she’s arranging a swap with Osiris – you two vs. Buffy.

Razor: Slayer… I’ve been hearing some interesting things about you.
BuffyBot: Sì. Soy muy interesante.
Razor: What? What’s this???
Other biker: The vampire told us she was on drugs.
Razor: The Slayer on drugs? Impossible!
BuffyBot: Drugs? Just say no. Ronnie and I love you all very much.
Other biker: PCP?
Razor: PCP.

Razor: *SLASH* You’re just a toy. A pretty toy.
BuffyBot: I bet you say that to all the girls. But I’m a lesbian bot now. Willow fixed me.
Tara: WHAT???

Willow: Osiris, release her!!!
BuffyBot: Willow! I need service!
Tara (eyeing Willow suspiciously): What kind of service?
Osiris: That’s what I’d like to know.
Tara: Hey, who asked you???
Osiris: Sheesh. Fine. Your gal is back. Can I go now?
Willow: Yeah, sure, whatever. And take your snake with you.
Anya: Awwww, but I’m famished!
Worms in tomb: So are we.
Buffy: Eep.

Razor: Any last words, Slayer?
BuffyBot: Engage, Mr. Data!
Razor: I think I’m getting a headache.

Xander: Buffy? We’re sorry. We brought you back, but, um, we forgot to let you out.
Buffy: …
Xander: Buffy? Can you hear me?
Willow: Her lips are moving! What’s she saying?
Anya: Wait a minute… I can read lips… I think it’s "Could someone pass the brains?"

Dawn: Buffy… please… talk to me!
Buffy: Is… is this Hell?
Dawn: Wha…? Buffy, how can you say that? I’m your little sister, remember?
Buffy: You’ve just answered my question.
Dawn: Great. Here’s me basking in the love.
Buffy: I’m going to jump now.

Dawn: If you jump, you’ll miss that Backstreet Boys poster I put up in your room.
Buffy: WHAT? I’m going home to rip that poster off my wall this instant.
Dawn: (heehee, it’s working!)
Tower: *Shudder*
Buffy: Shudder?
Tower: *Shudder*
Dawn: The tower was built by crazy people, and I don’t think it’s holding up very well.
Tower: At least with Glory and her minions I didn’t have to listen to talk about the Backstreet Boys. *SHAKE*
Dawn: ALRIGHT! I LIED! I LIED! NO BACKSTREET BOYS POSTER!
Buffy: That’s better. Now, where was I? Ah, yes. I’m going to jump now.
Dawn: Actually, it was a Debbie Gibson poster.
Tower: OK, off you two go. *SHUDDER* *SHAKE*