Willow: God, I wish Tara was here... I mean, what does she expect me to do for... um, physical comfort?
Warren: OK, buddy. Almost there. Almost got the diamond!
Buffy: Spike, what are you doing here? You know about the frozen security guard?
Buffy: You're a thing, Spike! A sexy, disgusting thing!
Spike: Hey, my chip doesnıt work anymore! I can hurt people now! I think I'll start by eating you, lady!
Tara: My God, that's a big shake! It's the queen of all shags... um, shakes.
Willow : Here, let me get my computer and do some research on that stolen diamond.
Spike: Check my chip, or this limited-edition Season 3 Faith action figure is done for.
Willow: Maybe we've overdone it a little...
Spike: *whack* Oh, the pain, the pain... is gone. I can hurt you, Buffy!
Buffy: Hey, an abandoned house! Is this where the kinky destruction scene comes in?
Amy: Squeak.
Willow: Hmmm... Reveal!
*POOF*
Amy: Where am I?
Willow: OK, three things you need to know: Larry's gay, so am I, and, um, which side of the bed do you prefer? *wink wink*
Andrew: Hey, why do I have to be the one suspended in the air for this?
Warren: So we can sing "Andrew In the Sky With Diamond"?
Andrew (to Jonathan): When weıre done with the security guard, can we freeze Warren too?
Spike: Yeah, well, you know Itıs been a while since I've had a popsicle.
Buffy: *WHACK*
Spike: Um...
Buffy: Don't interrupt! Where was I? Oh yes... You're a disgusting thing. You should be in a sex shop!
Spike: Er, Buffy?
Buffy: For God's sake, what?
Spike: Um, the kinkiness doesn't come until the end of the episode...
Joss: CUT!
Lady: Wouldn't you rather eat my bag of... chips? *teehee*
Spike: *WHACK*
Dawn: Obsessing about Willow much?
Tara: Drink your shake, Dawn.
Dawn: *SLURP*
Tara: And stop those kinky noises!
Buffy : Wow. Haven't seen you do that in a long time.
Willow : *caress* *caress*
Buffy : Will... what're you doing?
Willow : *caress* *caress* Oh, I'm just using magic to make it go faster... Oh, here we go. Hey, there's a picture! Oh, it's nice... It's cute... *caress* *caress* ... mmm...
Buffy : Um, Will?
Willow : *caress* *caress*
Xander : I didn't realize how much she missed Tara...
Buffy : Why's that?
Willow : *fondle* *fondle*
Anya : I think she's having sex with her computer...
Willow : *fondle* Well hey, what good is a computer with a touchpad if you don't... oh, forget it...
Andrew: Hey, what kind of sicko are you?
Faith: Lucky Iım in jail, Spike, or Iıd stake you with your name.
Amy: Why? Because we sex-changed the singer, made those two guys into Tom-Jones-in-a-cage, and generally wreaked havoc with reality?
Willow: That might be it.
Amy: Well, I like it better than being in a cage and eating cheese.
Willow: You're right. Anyway, the music was... cheesy. *chuckle*
Amy: Willow, don't start...
Willow: Oops, sorry. I promise, I'll keep quiet as a mouse... *teehee*
Amy: You're getting dangerously close to making me mad...
Willow: OK. Sorry. I didn't mean to, um... RAT-tle your cage... *teehee*
Amy: OK, that's it. Let's go see Rack and start you on that addiction slope right away.
Buffy: Oh really? OK, let's see... How about I break both your arms and dislocate both your shoulders? Will you still be able to hurt me?
Spike: Um, I was just kidding, you know. The chip still works. Look: *whack*
Buffy: OW!
Spike: OW, the pain! *WHACK*
Buffy: OWW!
Spike: YAAAH! Oh, yes, it sure works!
Buffy: You know, sometime later in this episode, I'm supposed to say "You're in love with pain". But in light of what I'm about to do to your shoulders, I think I'll say it now.
Xander: Hey, Iım the construction guy in this show! I get to destroy houses!
Buffy: Too bad, buster. You had your chance with me in Season 1, and you blew it.
Xander: Awwww!
Spike: So, how should we start?
Buffy: Like this? *whack*
Spike: Hmmm Not bad. We got a few bricks loose. But we need to break this floor open.
Buffy: No problem. *trample trample trample*
Spike : Um, Buffy ? Thatıs not the floor... thatıs me.
Buffy: Well, this is a kinky scene, isnıt it?