-> Ask The Poobah

6.13.04: The roads of men, what to wear at graduation, and you gotta go when you gotta go.



In response to last week's shoe size answer, El Presidente wishes to state that he actually wears a size 13, but the 'midget from the waist down' comment is true.

From FluffyBrick:
Sex with a dog, having your penis chopped off immediately, living in the Middle East, or watching live (and interactive) porn between Eliza Dushku and Jessica Alba. If you had to choose one, what would it be?

Poobah says:
You're kidding, right? I mean, it's blatantly obvious! Give me a break! This is the easiest question ever!....Come here, Benji, you stud!

From sarah s:
Are you a Dark Tower junkie? If so have you gotten Book 6 yet?

Poobah says:
No, I actually read books from writer's who are relevant.

From Alicia:
How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?

Poobah Says:
2 - "Puberty Road" and "Being-Totally-Rejected Blvd." Puberty Rd is hard to get through, there are many rough patches in your way. Being-Totally-Rejected Blvd is pretty easy to get through, all you have to do is pass by someone who is way out of your league. After that, you are a man....a pathetic man, but still a man.

From Fat Tony:
I'm thinking of changing my name...what do you think of Janet?

Poobah says:
I think you're packing your junk in the back and heading down the road less traveled.

From milesfrom730:
Are you God? Are you Satan? I'm assuming that you're Satan.

Poobah says:
I'm not God. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be the guy who created you people. I'm not Satan either. I sure as hell wouldn't want to be the guy who wants you people to live with him. Although torturing all of you everyday sounds a little fun.

From Stephen Barendt:
Do you think this reality tv garbage that's brainwashing our country is just a phase, or has quality television really been put down for good?

Poobah says:
You're Fired! You're the Weakest Link, goodbye! I'm giving you the rose! I'm the sole survivor! Is that you're final answer? Stop being polite, and start getting real!

I'm sorry, what was the question? Brainwashed??!! Nahhhhh.

From Fiatlux:
What should I wear to my grad school graduation? Keep in mind that I have to sing in public.

Poobah says:
Do you remember when Madonna wore than cone-bra a few years ago? I think that would work brilliantly. Just watch out for people's eyes.

From Alicia:
What's that smell coming from my sink?

Poobah says:
I couldn't find your bathroom on time. Much apologies.

From FluffyBrick:
What's worse, an eternity living with Anna Nicole, or an eternity of having rat's slowly eat you testicles?

Poobah says:
I don't see the difference.

From Stephen Barendt:
Poobah!!!! Why is no one seeking your council on important matters anymore?

Poobah says:
They started getting smart. Wait, that DEFINITELY can't be it.

From mrsmarsters:
(on the notion that HMC makes shows get cancelled) Do you think that if you started covering the EVIL reality shows that they might get cancelled, too?

Poobah says:
Nice one, smart ass. But hey, if it gets Donald Trump and his ferret head off my TV, I'll try it.

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