Poobah Says:
If I were, are you REALLY going to hold it against me??!

From Xbox:
Do you think Funniest Home Videos will ever bring Bob Sagot back? And can you confirm the rumor that he's asked about writing an article series for this site?

Poobah says:
Anything's better than the Hellmouth Ascension....even Sagot. Ok, ok....that's a stretch.

From Roxy:
Why is the Jolly green giant jolly? I mean .... he's permanately green for goodness sake!! And he hangs out with the short fella!? Please..... help!

Poobah says:
What's wrong with being green? You're some sort of racist against the lime, aren't you? And what's wrong with hanging out with short people? I'll have you know the jolly green giant is jolly because he makes really good beans. And what's wrong with that? Why are you holding down the green brothers? You oppressor!

*dun, dun, dun* Greeeeen....giant.

From Tortured Texas Hippie:
My husband is obsessed with asking your opinion on EVERYTHING! It's gotten so bad he claims he doesn't have time to wear his buttless chaps for me anymore because he is too busy composing emails to you! How do I make him stop?

Poobah Says:
Stick a toothpick straight up in the middle of the computer chair when he's wearing his buttless chaps. That should get him up and about in no time.

From Dannyboy:
Why do we have pennies? They're useless and stupid.

Poobah says:
The same could be said about Britney Spears.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
If your girlfriend got a "Charlie is Love" tattoo" on his/her forehead, how would you handle it?

Poobah says:
I'd probably ask her, "Who the hell is Charlie, you cheating bitch?!"

From dru13:
What do you have aginst the Cubs?!?!?! I suppose you like the New York Yanks (TERRIBLE)?

Poobah says:
The Yankees are the canker sore on the gums of baseball, and George Steinbrenner is the herpes on the nuts of baseball. How many nasty metaphors must I use for you to realize I hate them with the passion of a alcoholic at a kegger? I guess just that one last time.

From sarah s:
Why was Charisma really missing in those 3 episodes near the end of Season 3? Sure they explained Cordy was off with Groo, but why would they have a cast regular like Charisma gone for 3 big episodes?

Poobah says:
Oh, see, I can explain....she was with me. Well, not really WITH me....more like...you know.. tied up in my basement with the gold Princess Leah outfit on. Eventually I just let her go, cause I'm a gentleman, see.

From Dannyboy:
If you're all that mighty and powerful, why isn't your birthday a national holiday?

Poobah says:
You know, I wonder that myself a lot. My guess - Jesus, Santa Claus, and Martin Luther King Jr. have conspired to keep my name off the calender. It's not MY fault I won the poker game.

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