-> Ask The Poobah

4.02.04: Those Heartless Fox suits, celebrity shockers, and bunny sex.



From SPIKESMYGOD:
My right hand keeps itching like a bastard. Does this mean that I'm about to come into a lot of money?

Poobah Says:
No. It means you masterbate too much. I advise you to use the other hand for 4-6 weeks and then you can go back to your normal routine.

From wretch:
If last night's Wonderflaws was "tremendous" as you claim, mind telling me what the point of all that was? I found it to be singularly lacking.

Poobah says:
Well, for starters, you need to be awake when actually watching it. Then you need to move your eyeballs towards the television screen. If you do both of these, you'll enjoy the show more. Trust me.

From jojo:
Who's the better plastic surgery patient: Michael Jackson or Joan Rivers?

Poobah says:
Michael Jackson? Plastic Surgery? NOoooooo. Joan Rivers? But she looks so natural! I think someone stole my pipe.

From Reisita:
So, how many episodes do you think we can expect Wonderfalls to last?

Poobah Says:
Just long enough to care. Fox wants your heart. They need our hearts, because you see, none of them have one. So they suck the organ from us by cancellations of quality shows, and replacing them with reality garbage like "The Swan" and "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancee". And they make us choke on it. Thus giving them time as we're choking to rip it out of our chests. Metaphorically speaking and all.

From Dannyboy:
There are theories that this season of Angel has been all about hair: Spike went Jet Black, Cordy got Wavy, Gunn got the hair club for men, Angel found out about combs, Wes got rid of the scruffyness and Fred got some freaky blue highlights. what do you think?

Poobah says:
I think we have our 6th member of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". Congratulations.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
One time, I was walking down the Sunset Strip, and I could have sworn I saw Tom Cruise wearing a pink boa & singing showtunes. Is this possible?

Poobah says:
One time I saw Whitney Houston without a bong in her hands. ANYTHING is possible.

From wallekeith:
Poobah, you ever wonder why the wonder falls?

Poobah says:
No. Mostly I wonder why I answer stupid questions.

From wretch:
Why is it some peeps think that the remake of "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" is better than the original and think it's "more realistic"? Both versions have no bearing on reality as we know it.

Poobah says:
I've met Leatherface. Nice guy. He's just misunderstood. I was over for dinner one night. Good chicken.

From milesfrom730:
Rabbits mate in groups, is it still considered an orgy?

Poobah says:
GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER, YOU SICK FREAK! Now I gotta end this or I'll miss the chocolate-covered nipple twist contest. I placed 3rd last week. Wish me luck!

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