Poobah Says:
Who isn't into Barry Manilow? He's so sexy with those golden locks and that beautiful voice and "OH MANDY, YOU CAME AND YOU GAVE WITHOUT TAKING..." uh...um...I...uh... hmm.

From Reisita:
How much do you know about grammar? Cause you should learn more. Aren't you ashamed that in last week's question about spilling wine on the carpet you used "you're" when you should have used "your"??

Poobah says:
No. I'm more concerned for people who watch for spelling errors than anything else.

From Nora:
When a telemarketer calls me and I scream "I HATE YOU DIE DIE!" is that considered "rude?"

Poobah says:
Not at all. That's what I would call pleasant. I've killed two telemarketers before, and the cops still haven't found the bodies....and they never will. NEVER.

From Michael:
Are the same idiots who cancelled Firefly over at FOX also in charge of the Bowl Championship Series that gave us a split national champion for football this year?

Poobah says:
No, but they're related. Every year they gather for the annual 'idiot executives' barbeque and go over the many ways to screw up television. I hear Rupert Murdoch grills a mad weiner.

From Redman:
What ever happened to the First?

Poobah Says:
He gave up trying to control the world, and has retired peacefully in Boca Raton, playing bridge and placing plastic on his furniture.

From Fat Tony:
What do you get when you cross a Chicken with a 9-foot Gorilla?

Poobah says:
Howard Stern.

From Dannyboy:
How is yours and Nora's child doing? Can he write his name in the snow yet? Can you?

Poobah says:
I can right now. Coffee....too much coffee. I wouldn't know about the kid, I'm still in hiding. YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME, SOCIAL SERVICES!!!!!!! BWHAHAHAHA!!!

From Zgirl714:
Who do you like better Spike or Angel?

Poobah says:
Neither. I think the new name of the show should be, "Clem" and have him eating kittens at Angel's desk. The ratings would go through the roof.

From Aeryn and Michael:
Say I strand you on a deserted island and I gave you a nail file, a mac laptop that had been under water for a few days and a nail file before I left.... How long would you it take for you to get off the island.

Poobah says:
Why must they always bring up laptops? Why do they hate me so? I would never get off that island with a laptop computer, we all know that. I'd stick the nail file on my middle finger so when you pass by on your airplane, I can use it to flip you off from a far away distance for asking this question.

From Nora:
Little Mac (Matt) Junior keeps asking me questions about his daddy, how do I tell him that his father is a deadbeat who refuses to see his child? He keeps getting taller and taller by the day....I can't believe you keep denying that he's yours!! I was only loyal to YOU!!! BOO HOO HOO!! *runs crying from the room*

Poobah says:
It was dark that night and for all I know it could've been Abe Vigoda. If so, Abe is very gentle.

From SPIKESMYGOD:
Hey, ya know how when you go to the movies you get a big drink, drink it, have to get up to go to the restroom, come back, ask your date what you missed, and annoy everyone around you with the talking? Well, Poobah, I was wondering whether or not wearing Depends adult diapers to the movies would be poor date etiquette?

Poobah says:
It "depends" on whether or not your date likes the smell of piss. If she does, maybe you should have brought another date. But then again, that date would've walked out from the smell of it....so you're screwed either way. Enjoy the movie.

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