David Boreanaz Directed this Rant -- "Soul Purpose" : The Rant

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Warning: Spoilerish to the amount of 10.

Matt: Hello assholes, it is I, Your Poobah...along with me as always is my brother from a different mother, El Presidente. Today we rant about "Soul Purpose".

Eric: This episode of Angel was Blunttastic.

Matt: So in other words, you must be high to love it?

Eric: No, just felt like quoting "Jay and Silent Bob Strike back"...on video and DVD avaliable now. Sorry...our new ad campaign.

Matt: Yes, well, now that the Kevin Smith reference of the week is out of the way...What did you think of David's directorial debut?

Eric: I was very pleased with it. He did a wonderful job.

Matt: He kind of lucked out that it was a trippy dream episode, that way he could test weird angles and edits.

Eric: Yeah, a very fun episode.

Matt: We got a pixie, a bear, a license plate, a recliner in a field, and a bedroom nightclub. What MORE can you ask for?

Eric: Didnt you love how Lindsey called himself Doyle? What's up with that stuff?

Matt: I thought the references to "City Of" were cool. I think there's a bigger reason for it down the line though.

Eric: Especially the stakes from the coat thing.

Matt: I think Lindsey (if that's really him, Eve hasn't called him that yet) and Eve have something bigger up their sleaves. So far it looks like they're trying to turn Spike into Angel, or something like that.

Eric: I have been wondering if it is Lindsey myself, cause why would he be doing this? Is he a big Spike fan?

Matt: I also love the explanation of the tattoos. It's a cloaking scripture so that the senior partners can't see them.

Eric: Yes, I got all those tattoos done myself so I will stay off all my ex-girlfriends radar. You hear me SMG? We're through, you hear me? DAMNIT!

Matt: Well, I have them too so that you're ex-girlfriend will stay off MY radar.

Eric: I have no ex-girlfriend.

Matt: You're a loser, we know.

Eric: Jennifer is a robot that Adam Busch built for me.

Matt: It's ok man, we understand.

Matt: BEARS!!!!!!!!!! AHHHH!!!! I'm scared, Eric....hold me.

Eric: Ummm...no.

Eric: What I want to know is if Eve has those Tattoos also.

Matt: I dont know...maybe she has them in "areas" we can't see.

Eric: I want to SEE if she has them or not.

Matt: Maybe they should let me be the tattoo searcher.

Eric: Also how could she be so dumb as not to change her earrings?

Matt: ...and does Fred really pay THAT close attention to earrings? She really is a nerd.

Eric: I guess she does, or maybe she also has photographic memory.

Matt: Too much time on her hands.

Eric: You are walking a thin line with my Fred.

Matt: Dude, I love Fred.

Eric: Grrrrr. Oh look...a BEAR!

Matt: SHIT!!!!!! *runs away*

Eric: Ah the rant is now mine!!! *Cue Tim Curry Evil Laugh*

Eric: Ok guys...here is the story. Matt doesnt like any of you. I am the one that keeps him going. He wants to shut the site down, and go write Charmed Fan fiction. But I keep it going. Sometimes I pretend I'm him and I update the site.


Eric: Shhh...don't tell anyone.

Matt: *peeks head through door* Is the bear gone?

Eric: Also he really does have lice...

Matt: I DON'T HAVE LICE!

Eric: *damn*

Matt: What have you been saying?

Eric: Nothing.

Matt: Ok, I believe you.

Eric: Just talking to MY friends and fans. *winks*

Matt: By the way, did you see Charmed on Sunday?

Eric: No...I missed it.

Matt: So umm... What about that Buffy dream sequence? Man, was that poorly done. That could've been the worst scene I have ever witnessed in my life.


Eric: I know, they could have done it way better.

Matt: Or just not used it at all. They could've gotten the point acrossed in another way, like phone sex with Spike or something.

Eric: ...or just used better lines.

Matt: ...or at least had the Buffy voiceover say something like "I care for him", like she said in one episode.

Eric: ...and had her on top instead of her face violently turned to the right.

Matt: Something....anything is better than that prom quote.

Eric: Right...edited words together...something. Used the girl from the video game to make new lines...

Matt: I think it's funny how a stuntman wrote this episode.

Eric: Yeah, a stuntman wrote it and an actor directed it.

Matt: Funny, as in, I thought all stuntmen were mentally retarded until last night.

Eric: The Janitor was the DP. And the Guy who created the Tick was the Producer, oh wait, that's true.

Matt: I heard Joss' secretary was still the secretary.

Eric: Too bad for her.

Matt: Yeah, what a bum wrap.


Eric: The guy who runs the food cart was the guy that had to strip for Marti, instead of James Marsters.

Eric: ....and Lindsey was Doyle. Everyone was someone else this time.

Eric: Fred was the Guy from Jaws.

Matt: It was roleplay week.

Eric: ...and Lorne worked in a saloon and Harmony was a whore...again no change.

Matt: Funniest line ever - "Oh look, it's Crockett and Tubbs" You can't have a fucked up episode without a Miami Vice reference. Well you can, but it wouldn't be right.

Eric: Was Wes Don Johnson?

Matt: No...Wes was the other guy. Gunn is Don Johnson, right? Oh wait...nevermind.

Eric: I don't know, both Gunn and Wes wernt dressed badly so it is hard to tell.

Matt: Yeah, but where were the rolled up sleeves, and the slipper shoes with no socks? Actually, the more I think of it, the more it sounds like a bad reference.

Eric: I love everyone gathering to watch the Apocalypse.

Matt: And lest we not forget, Gunn is mad with the heckling.

Eric: He apologized.

Matt: I don't believe him. He's a W&H lawyer....

Eric: Oh geez.

Matt: ...Which is almost as bad as a regular one.

Eric: The only person turning dark is Angel. He seemed white to me.

Matt: I didn't see any pigment changes.

Eric: Oh look, another BEAR!

Matt: AHHHH!!!!! *runs away, and crashes through the door*

Eric: *shakes head at Matt's gullibility*

Eric: We take this brief break to get in a few words from our Sponsors...Rid, the best lice removal system go to www.nolice.com.

Matt: *shouting from the other room* IS IT TIME FOR THE ALL IN ALL'S YET???!!

Eric: Yes.

Matt: *wimpering* Go ahead....I'm trying to gain my courage.

Eric: *rolls eyes* All and all, I'm very pleased with this episode. I give it a 9. Very funny and very provocative. Makes you really wonder what's next for our favorite band of buggered.

Eric: *shouts* Still there Matt?

Matt: *peeks head through the hole in the wall* All in all, I'm scared of bears. The buffy v/o sucked, the Doyle stuff ruled, the dream stuff was decent...and David did a pretty good job for a rookie...I give it a 8.4

Matt: Can I go home now?

Eric: No...get back to your bad coding....with the bear! He's our new writer!

Matt: I REFUSE TO WORK WITH BEARS! That's it...I'm on strike.

Eric: You aren't even union...NOW GET TO WORK!

Matt: *walks with a humpback* Yeeesss, master.

Eric: That's better. Good night everybody *waves*


Matt's Rating: 8.4
Eric's Rating: 9.0
Overall: 8.7