Buffy lay completely still in her bed, arms loosely at her sides and eyes firmly shut. Although she had been exhausted from slaying when she finally fell into her bed, she found that sleep eluded her. After tossing and turning restlessly for an hour or so she had gotten up for a few sips of water then returned to bed, lying down in her current position. She was now attempting a trick that her mother had told her about when she was little, willing her body to go to sleep inches at a time.

"toes are getting sleepy, sleepier, asleep...feet are getting sleepy, sleepier, asleep...ankles are getting sleepy, sleepier, asleep..."

She continued until she had reached the crown of her head, and although she was not asleep, she found that she was at least comfortably relaxed. Just as she was about to drift off to sleep, she caught faint strains of music coming through her half-open window from the street below. After hearing a few bars, she realized that the tune seemed naggingly familiar, and her curious mind shook off sleep in order to place it. She pushed herself up on her elbows and cocked her head to the side, brushing her honey-colored hair behind her ear as she tried to identify the song.

"Love, I get so lost some times,

days pass and this emptiness fills my heart

when I want to run away

I drive off in my car

but whichever way I go

I come back to the place you are..."

Suddenly it fell into place...there was a movie she had been infatuated with in her early teen years, starring John Cusack and Ione Skye.

"all my instincts, they return

and the grand facade, so soon will burn

without a noise, without my pride

I reach out from the inside..."

As the music swelled into the chorus, she began to replay the scene containing this song in her mind.....

"In your eyes

the light the heat

in your eyes

I am complete

in your eyes

I see the doorway to a thousand churches

in your eyes

the resolution of all the fruitless searches

in your eyes

I see the light and the heat

in your eyes

oh I want to be that complete

I want to touch the light

the heat I see in your eyes..."

.....and could picture John Cusack on the street below Ione Skye's house, wearing that long, brown trenchcoat, expressionlessly holding a battered radio up above his head.

Buffy's stomach clenched into a knot of dread as she quickly pushed back the sheet and jumped to her feet. Steeling herself for an image she hoped would not greet her, she approached the window and looked down into the street below. Her stomach unclenched and instead began doing somersaults; there, eerily illuminated by the yellowish cast of the streetlight, stood Spike, in the exact same pose as she remembered from the movie. Radio held firmly above his peroxide blonde head, he stared ahead with no discernable emotion on his handsome, chiseled face. It was as if he couldn't bear to look up at her window, couldn't bear to know if she was watching, or wasn't. As she stared down at him, her distaste for Spike's newly proclaimed feelings battled with her appreciation for the vampire's unexpected homage to one of her favorite movies. She really was a sap, she thought in disgust. And she also had to admit that his black leather duster was much sexier than John Cusack's trench, even as the slayer in her pushed away any thoughts of Spike looking...good.

"love, I don't like to see so much pain

so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away

I get so tired working so hard for our survival

I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive..."

Buffy wondered if Spike had chosen the song only because he wanted to imitate the movie scene in his latest fit of passion, or because the lyrics meant something to him. She didn't allow herself to follow that train of thought. Better to assume that he had rented the movie by accident and then stolen the idea in some lame attempt to impress her. "You weren't watching the movie closely enough, dumbass...maybe the audience swooned, but Ione Skye just rolled over and ignored him." Still, she couldn't seem to pull herself away from the window. Or move, for that matter.

As the song ended, Spike lowered the radio and placed it on the ground by his feet. Pulling a pack of cigarettes from his duster pocket, he lit one and took a long pull from it. Finally, he let his gaze travel up to Buffy's window, where she stood grasping the windowstill so hard she was sure there would be dents where her fingers pressed into the wood. He met her steely gaze with his own wounded one, letting his emotions surface. For a few split seconds, Buffy's heart expanded as she read the naked longing, desire, and pain in his eyes. All for her, because of her. Damn it, she chastised herself, this was Spike! He was a non-souled vampire proclaiming an impossible love for her. She would not give him any hope, no matter how devastatingly handsome he was, no matter how sad and lonely he looked staring up at her from the empty street below.

She tore her gaze away and in one violent movement slammed the window closed and pulled the curtains shut. Throwing herself on her bed, she reached over to the clock radio and turned it on, twisting the knob so that it only played static. White noise was supposed to be soothing, she reminded herself. "Toes are getting sleepy, sleepier, asleep..."

On the street below, Spike took one long, last drag on his cigarette, then dropped it and ground it into the pavement. Picking up the portable cd player, he threw one last despairing glance up at Buffy's window before turning around and stalking away. He managed to make it to the next street before he hurled the radio, smashing it to pieces, bellowing in pain and rage at her latest rejection. Collecting himself, he made his way back to his crypt. And even as he was trying to convince himself to just give up on her, he had already started making a new plan to convince the slayer of his feelings.

in your eyes in your eyes

in your eyes in your eyes

in your eyes in your eyes

End