He stared into the amber liquid still left in the bottle as his

fingers traced designs in the condensation on the side of it. For

the first time in a hundred years, Spike was lonely.

Drusilla had left him weeks ago; he couldn't remember when or

where, just that one night she'd been gone. He'd been drinking

ever since he'd woken up alone. It takes a lot of alcohol for a

vampire to get drunk, but it could be done. Spike was way beyond

drunk and was rapidly nearing suicidal.

<<It's all the bloody Slayer's fault> he commented to himself.

<<If she hadn't let Angel into her pants, I wouldn't be here now.>

<<If I hadn't let her into my heart, I wouldn't be here,> a small

part of his mind spoke up only to be quickly silenced. His thoughts

had been filled with images of the Slayer every since he'd left

Sunnydale. That was part of the reason he'd started drinking. Part

to get the Slayer out of his mind, and part to deal with the loneliness.

So far neither problem was solved, and Spike was still sitting on

a decaying bar stool in a small Texas honky tonk. He took a swig

from the bottle and finished the rest of the whisky just as the

first strains of the song came out of the jukebox.

They say I seem different now

Hope I'm wiser anyhow

I've had some time to learn a thing or two

I know the change has done me good

But I don't feel like I wish I would

Sometimes I miss who I was with you

He knew he should be happy that the Slayer was out of his hair,

and he was free to kill and hunt with worrying about sharp wooden things,

but even now, lost in a drunken haze, his mind was still on her.

The way her muscles rippled when she fought, <<Or danced,> he added,

remembering the first time he'd seen her dancing with her friends.

He remembered the passion and fire in her eyes when punched him.

And, if he thought long enough, he could recall the fire,

determination, and hint of sadness in her eyes when she faced Angel

for the final time. Sometimes, when the wind was right, he thought

he could smell her. Smell the sweet vanilla of her perfume, and, for

a time, he could forget about everything and just smile.

Every time your name comes up

I just smile don't sat too much

A button's pushed my heart gets stuck again

I pray it's just a passing thought

'Cause we both know we're better off

But sometimes I miss who I was with you

Then reality came crashing down, and Spike headed for the nearest bar

to drink himself into a stupor and ignore everything.

<<I don't need this,> he stated in a moment of sober clarity, and he

picked up the now empty bottle and threw it against the wall with

every ounce a vampire strength, causing the portly bartender to shuffle

up to him.

"That's it, mister, you're outta here," he drawled, poking a fat finger

in Spike's chest. Spike stared down at the offending finger then glanced

up at the man. He smiled softly to himself, before reaching up and

snapping the bartender's neck. He watched the body fall to the ground and

noticed the profound lack of noise. His gaze found the crowd staring up at him in shock. He smirked.

"I feel better," he commented, the words just slightly slurred. Spike

grabbed a small bottle of whisky from the bar and managed to walk out

of the bar without running into anyone. As he stood on the grass,

breathing in the cool Texas air, he could hear the final words of

the song.

Stormy days and sleepless nights

Sometimes we even got it right

Can't believe what we put each other through

In spite of all our chemistry

Something things just aren't meant to be

Sometimes I miss who I was with you

Spike glanced up at the full moon and sighed softly.

"Where ever you are, Slayer, I hope you're having as much fun as

I am," he offered to the sky, before lifting the bottle to his lips

and downed it's contents in one gulp. Then he walked off into the

night.

But sometimes I miss who I was with you.

*Fin*

Comments? Send too Samantha McCullah

Get me back to Angel of the Night!

Get me back to Spike's Corner!

Get me outta here period!